


Descendantstuck

by Alchemistofpeace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Original Character(s), POV Original Character, POV Second Person, fair warning, like almost all of them, there is a lot of original characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-01-09 08:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alchemistofpeace/pseuds/Alchemistofpeace





	1. Act 1: Chapter 1

A young troll stands in her respiteblock. It just so happens today, the twentieth bilunar perigee of the first dark season's equinox, known as New Sweep Day, is the day of this troll's larval awakening, or wriggling day. Though it was six solar sweeps ago today she was given life, only today will she be given a name! What will this young troll's name be?  


> Enter name  


You begin to enter something derogatory for your own amusement and the young troll brandishes her large and powerful rifle. She is obviously not someone to be fucked with.  


>Try again  


Your name is NIXXIE AMPORA. It is your wriggling day, as mentioned before. You have a variety of interests, which are composed of swimming and underwater exploring, reading about wizards and other such magical things, and listening to all sorts of love songs. You ought to be ashamed of some of the music you listen to, or at least embarrassed, but you are not and you doubt you ever will be. You have quite a few friends, most of which you met on a chat client that was created about a sweep and a half ago and is still in beta testing. It used to have a whole slew of different types of bugs and was trying to use on a good day, but now it's much easier and less frustrating to use. Your trolltag is calypsosAqueduct and you speak ~ith a vvery gentle and ~avvy accent.  


Later, you will play a game with a few of your other friends. As of now, you do not have it. What will you do now?  


>Nixxie: Examine wizard posters  


You examine your wizard posters, which completely take up your eastern wall. There's not just wizard posters here, there's unicorns and fairies and dragons and all sorts of other magical beings and magic users.  


You love magic, you really do.  


>Nixxie: Examine book shelf  


It's a music shelf actually but okay. Every single CD you own rests on this shelf and is organized by the color of the spine of the case. You like to keep your belongings as organized as possible.  


>Nixxie: Examine fetch modus  


You use the COLOR SPECTRUM modus. It's a fairly simple modus to use, when you captchalogue an item, it takes the predominant color or the item and assigns a card to it. It follows the ROYGBIV scale, plus black and white. This means you cannot captchalogue pink items, as they cannot be assigned a card. Which kind of sucks, because you tend to forget this and drop things whenever you pick them up and they happen to be pink.  


>Nixxie: Examine small shrine in the northeastern corner of your room  


You're not going to lie, you think you might be a little obsessed with troll Marina and the Diamonds. You have every album and every single and you listen to them all on repeat everyday, though quite a few of them aren't strictly love songs. You just love her voice and listening to her cheers you up almost instantly. You like other music sure, but, like, 98.7% of the music you have on CDs (excluding MatD of course) are love songs, and the other 1.3% is instrumental music.  


You hear a familiar ding and turn toward your computer. Looks like someone's trolling you.  


>Answer

\-- guillotineChemist [GC] began trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--   
GC: Hey.   
GC: Are y-ou there?   
CA: Yeah I'm here   
CA: I'm usually here unless I'm asleep or doin somethin a~ay from the computer.   
GC: True.   
GC: C-onsidering the average tr-oll ages five t-o eight spends ab-out eight teen p-oint nine h-ours a week, which translates int-o about tw-o p-oint seven h-ours a day, -on Tr-ollian and y-ou spend ab-out seventy-three p-0int five h-ours a week, which translates int-o ab-out ten p-oint five h-ours a day...   
GC: It is apparent t-o any-one with a brain that y-ou need t-o g-o the fuck -outside.   
CA: I do go outside!   
CA: Quite often too   
CA: Maybe not as much as AC but he spends most of his ~akin hours outside   
CA: I dont think you can spend more time outside ~ithout bein hivveless.   
GC: True.   
CA: Also I tend to leavve my computer runnin ~hen I go out.   
GC: That explains a l-ot.   
CA: Do you think he got your message to stay inside today   
CA: You kno~, so ~e can start the game.   
GC: I h-ope s-o.   
GC: D-o y-ou kn-ow h-ow -often he get's -on his c-omputer?   
CA: No he's pretty erratic about getting on.   
GC: Damn. -Oh well.   
GC: C-ould y-ou try c-ontacting him?   
CA: ~hy don't you contact him?   
GC: I'm busy.   
CA: You're al~ays busy.   
GC: -Of c-ourse. It takes w-ork t-o have such an amazing brain as mine.   
\-- guillotineChemist [GC] ceased trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--

You exit out of the chat window and double click on AC's troll tag. You really wish Trollian had a way to let you know if a user was online or not, a little message or a bright icon thing, but no. Instead there's useless shit that doesn't make sense. Temporal timeline chat? What the hell does that even MEAN?  
Anyway we're getting off topic. Let's go back to what you were doing. You exit out of the chat window and double click AC's chat handle.

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling aslansCatastrophe [AC] \--  
CA: Hellooooooooo pretty boy.  
AC: hey!  
CA: ~o~ you're actually online for once  
CA: I guess you did get GC's message.  
AC: well of course :pp  
AC: i always check my messages when i get back from hunting and stuff  
AC: no matter how tired i am!  
CA: ~hat a bravve soldier  
CA: Should I sound the trumpets?  
AC: yessss  
AC: sound all the trumpets  
CA: Ha no  
CA: I just ~anted to make sure you ~eren't gallivvantin all ovver the place like you usually do.  
AC: bluuuuhhhh fiiiinnnneeee  
AC: meanie :[[  
CA: Oh stop poutin  
CA: ~e'll havve plenty time to talk ~hen ~e start the game.  
AC: okay but how are mew going to get the game?  
AC: is gc sending a file or what  
CA: No he's put the game on disks for evveryone and GA's goin to delivver them  
CA: That's ~hat he told me any~ay.  
AC: to everyone? :oo  
AC: how would he do that?  
CA: *shrug* I dunno  
AC: Hmmm *narrows eyes suspiciously*  
CA: *ignores*  
CA: I honestly don't care ho~ they get shit done as long as it's done  
CA: I mean, it's a game, so I doubt they're summonin demons to delivver it.  
AC: true  
CA: Yeah  
CA: I'm gonna go tell GC you're at your hivve and he doesn't havve to ~orry about your game being carried off by a ~ild animal.  
AC: kay  
AC: see ya  
\-- aslansCatastrophe [AC] ceased trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--

We've been through this before, you exit the chat window, double click GC's chat handle blah blah blah. 

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC]\--  
CA: Heeeeeyyyyyyy  
CA: You there?  
CA: Obvviously not  
CA: ~hat are you doin any~ay?  
CA: You better not be mackin on your boyfriend  
CA: You t~o can smooch after evveryone has the game and stuff.  
GC: I'm g-one f-or seven and a half minutes and you're already getting -on my case and babbling.  
GC: Is that a new rec-ord?  
GC: It must be.  
GC: And y-ou kn-ow very well GA and I are n-ot in sm-o-oching range -of each -other.  
CA: :p  
CA: So are you goin to tell me ~hat you ~ere doin or ~hat.  
GC: I was asking GA when the disks w-ould be ready t-o distribute.  
CA: And???  
CA: ~hat did he say?  
GC: If y-ou'd h-old y-our seah-orses, I was getting t-o that.  
GC: He said y-ou sh-ould get them very s-o-on.  
GC: Apr-oximately ten minutes.  
CA: Really?  
GC: Yes really.  
GC: He als-o said y-ou were g-oing t-o be the first t-o get y-ours, n-ot c-ounting his -own c-opy.  
GC: I guess he d-oesn't want y-ou t-o thr-ow a hissy fit.  
CA: ~hat, does he think I'm impatient?  
GC: Yes.  
CA: :|  
GC: Y-ou sh-ould be getting the disk in a few minutes, it w-ould be a g-o-od idea t-o g-o wait f-or it.  
CA: Yeah okay  
CA: See ya, tell GA I said hi.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--

Okay, enough sitting on your ass waiting and talking until something happens, time to go wait in another room until something happens. You get up, open the door and walk down the stairs into your living room. Your hive is quite a bit smaller than most trolls of your blood caste, it only has two stories not including the attic and basement. It's still fairly roomy for a single troll, with room for your lusus, (potential) quadrantmates and visiting friends, including spare bathrooms. And, of course, there's a lot of closets. You mostly use them for storing books and CDs, though there are still many that are unfilled. Your biggest closet is the one in your room, filled with all your clothes and outfits.  


When you reach the ground floor, you immediately stride over to your bookcase on the far side of the room. Standing around doing nothing has never been your strong suit, you need something to focus on, lest you go insane. You pick one of your fantasy encyclopedias and flip to a section about a creature you don't know much about and haven't heard much of. You begin to read and HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GREEN SHIT. You drop your book and dart over to the window. No sign of anything. Strange, you could have sworn you saw a flash of green and white. You slowly open the door and peek out cautiously. Nothing. You open the door a bit wider and take a few steps outside. There's a package on your back porch. The box is white and there's a blue hive shaped image on the top, made of squares and angles. You then look to the sky.  


The air is warm and humid, smelling of salt and sand and grass. The full moon casts a faint pink glow on the surroundings. Wind throws itself against the cliff face, as if trying to escape the cage of existence. It is a cramped and lonely cage, and not one easily escaped.  


It is your sixth wriggling day, and with all five preceding it, you feel like you're not living the existence you should live. Like you're simultaiously trying to measure up to some unseen figure and to surpass them in ability. The game you hold right now is just another fleeting moment in the endless, inescapable cage of existence. The cage has no key, though it does have a keeper, bound to his duties by his own inescapable cage.  


 **"Existence really is an imperfect tense that never becomes a present." -Friedrich Nietzsche**  
You think it's going to be a long day.  


You take the package and go back inside. Your lusus is poking at the fallen book with his snout. He looks up at you as you come in and floats quickly over to poke and sniff at your package. You rub his neck affectionately. You then pick up the book, smoothing out the bent pages, and put it back in it's proper place. Then you bound back up to your room, taking the stairs two at a time, before telling GC you have the disks.

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC]\--  
CA: Hey  
CA: Guess ~ho just got the game.


	2. Act 1: Chapter 2

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  
CA: Hey  
CA: Guess ~ho just got the game.  
GC: Great.  
GC: We can't start until every-one has their games th-ough.  
GC: GA and I w-ould rather be sure every-one has their c-opy in advance t-o av-oid as many inc-onviniences as p-ossible.  
GC: Which sh-ouldn't be l-ong.  
CA: Really?  
CA: I ~ould havve thought that you'd havve ~anted to get started as soon as possible so you can smooch your boyfriend.  
GC: Just start y-our game up.  
GC: Every-one sh-ould have the game n-ow.  
GC: -Or s-o-on en-ough as makes n-o difference.  
CA: Okay.  
GC: Y-ou're n-ot g-oing t-o have any pr-oblems w-orking with AA?  
CA: Of course I am  
CA: But it's a little late for that no~, isn't it?  
GC: I was just making sure.  
CA: Right.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--

You cannot BELIEVE GC put you with that asshole. You think you might puke just thinking about him. You grumble and glare at his troll tag, pondering the best way to annoy him. Annoying him is pretty fun. He's so easy to set off and he acts so hilariously douchey it's impossible not to get a reaction. You think of a great, if slightly unoriginal by how many times you've done it, way to annoy him, then you start a conversation with him. 

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA]\--  
CA: Hiiiiii AA hiiiiiii!  
AA: oh My god no  
AA: dont you dare  
AA: you knoW i hate when you pull this Vapid Valley girl bullshit  
AA: Why are you doing this this is cruel beyond Measure  
CA: A magician nevver revveals her secrets. ;)  
AA: dont pull that on Me you little shit  
AA: Magicians dont eVen haVe anything to do With your asinine Valley girl schtick  
AA: youre just finding any excuse to go back to your childish Magician gaMes  
AA: are you going to ask about the game or are you going to do this stupid Vapid bullshit until your brain rots  
CA: ~hat game?  
CA: Are ~e goin to play a game?  
AA: "are We goin to play a gaMe" she asks, like a loney Wriggler With lusus issues and no friends  
AA: can you just drop the Valley bitch act and act like a sensible person  
AA: just act like one i knoW asking you to actually be one is too difficult for your tiny sea brain  
CA: Bullshit  
CA: ~e both kno~ I'm the more intelligent of us t~o.  
AA: hahahahaha oh i think i laughed so hard i gave Myself a concussion  
CA: Try not to die  
CA: You and I still havve scores to settle.  
AA: What like Me insulting your duMb scarf oVer half a sWeep ago  
CA: Yes exactly.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA] \--

Well okay, that's enough shitting around. Time to get to work. You crack your knuckles overdramatically and open the package. It's taped to hell and back, so you end up using your ridiculously sharp, shark-like teeth to rip the tape off, scissors be damned. You end up with a fuckton of tape in your mouth, which leaves you vaguely wondering if it was worth not getting up. Oh well, doesn't matter. You have the game and now you can start playing. You insert the disk into the slot and wait for it to download. Then there's a loading screen of a blue spirograph against a much darker blue background, which morphs into different shapes and and the background changes color and even texture, which you find kind of pretty. You can't wait to see what this game is like. You jump up and down in your seat a little as the loading screen comes to an end. And then you're faced with...  
...Nothing.


	3. Act 1: Chapter 3

You squint at the screen, trying to find some sort of change. But no, it's your normal husktop background; a dragon on a cliff, watching over a mermaid. you even open up all your icons and and documents to make sure nothing changed. It didn't, of course. You start a new conversation with GC to get some answers.  
  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  
CA: Hey  
CA: I started up the game but nothin happened  
CA: Did I fuck up some~here?  
GC: N-o y-ou're n-ot g-oing t-o be in c-ontr-ol until y-ou start helping AA get int-o his game.  
CA: So youre in the game but I'm not  
CA: Is that what you're sayin?  
GC: N-o I'm n-ot in the game, strictly speaking.  
GC: I'm helping y-ou get int-o the game.  
GC: Meaning I put things in y-our hive t-o help y-ou int-o the game and then build y-our hive up.  
CA: So you can see me right no~?  
GC: Yes.  
GC: I als-o see y-ou waving.  
GC: Hi Nixxie.  
GC: I just waved back.  
CA: :)  
CA: So ~hat do ~e do no~?  
CA: Or, you do, I guess.  
GC: Currently I'm assessing y-our living space.  
GC: It's much smaller than I anticipated.  
GC: I think my hive is bigger than y-ours.  
GC: Wait I d-on't think, I kn-ow f-or a fact my hive is bigger than y-ours.  
CA: It's big enough for me and I nevver really sa~ the point of having a ton of extra space if I ~asn't goin to use it  
CA: Besides, I think it looks cute.  
GC: It is a piece of architecture, h-ow can it p-ossibly l-o-ok cute?  
CA: It just does, okay?  
CA: So ~hat are you doin no~?  
GC: I'm ab-out t-o depl-oy three machines in the r-o-om d-own the hall.  
GC: It's c-ompletely dev-oid -of -other items, perfect f-or my intenti-ons t-oward y-our hive.  
GC: -Or, rather, it used t-o be dev-oid -of items.

You leave your room, after you grab your mobile device of course, and travel down the hall until you find the room with the machines GC was talking about. They're rather odd devices; one is large and square with a small, cylindrical chimney and turning wheel, as well as four small, rectangular screens on each side. Another fits up against the wall and has a vague rectangular shape, although it has many more turning wheels and knobs and buttons than the other machine. The last is a large flat square shape with a small pedestal and a large platform, plus some sort of arm like attatchment. It also has a grey triangle pattern on the pedestal and platform, while the other devices have blue spirographs on them. 

CA: Cool  
CA: ~hat do they do?  
GC: I have n-o clue.  
GC: Let's find -out.  
CA: Is this ~hat science is all about?  
GC: Yes.  
GC: This is exactly what science is all ab-out.  
CA: S~eet  
CA: So ~hich one do I start ~ith?  
GC: Try the cruxtruder, that -one was first. The -one with the cl-ocks and wheel and chimney.  
CA: Okay.

The device, cruxtruder your friend called it, is big. You can't reach the top, but you can reach the wheel. You clutch it firmly and turn it. It barely budges. The top lifts a little, but you can't turn the wheel any more. Not without breaking it. 

CA: It's not movvin.  
GC: I see that.  
CA: I'm gonna hit it.  
GC: What? N-o.  
GC: D-on't d-o that, we d-on't kn-ow what will happen.  
CA: ~ell I'm not ~aitin around for you to magically scrounge up a clue that ~ould basically do the same thing I'm about to  
CA: So shut up and let me do ~hat I do best  
CA: ~hich in this particular instance is smackin a big machine ~ith a book.  
GC: Nixxie n-o.  
GC: Put that b-o-ok d-own I'm l-o-oking in the guide.  
GC: Nixxie.  
GC: Nixxie!

You ignore the urgent messages your friend is sending and quickly choose a book to hit the machine with. You settle on a large, eloquent but out dated fantasy encyclopedia. It doesn't have as much information on fantasy creatures as it does long, rambling sentences. But because of that, it is quite a bit thicker than your other fantasy encyclopedias which actually stay on topic. Usually. Back on topic, you set your mobile device aside and pick up your old encyclopedia; you've had this thing since you were a wriggler. You'd dwell on the memories in a haze of nostalgia, but you're a little busy right now. You chuck the book at the device instead of flailing and stretching while trying to hit it with the book in your hands because that would be ridiculous. The top of the crux truder pops off and a purple- violet, maybe?- cylinder pops out as well as some purple, violet, really, flashy light thing pops out as well. The clocks start an ominously short countdown, starting at one minute and twenty seconds. You quickly grab you mobile device to seek help. Thankfully, your server player has sent you instructions on what to do next and is already moving stuff around to help fight against the clock, namely, throwing something into the flashy thingy. You don't know this because you're busy reading the messages. Wow he types fast. 

GC: -Okay, Nixxie, the guide says...  
GC: Actually, y-ou're d-oing fine.  
GC: That's exactly what the guide says t-o d-o.  
GC: N-ow y-ou have t-o thr-ow s-omething int-o the kernelsprite, als-o kn-own as the flashing vi-olet light currently in y-our hive.  
GC: I've g-ot that c-overed th-ough, and the cruxite d-owel.  
GC: The cylinder that p-opped -out -of the cruxtruder.  
GC: I've als-o depl-oyed a pre-punched card we apparently need.  
GC: Use that with the t-otem lathe, the l-ong machine with the kn-obs and wheels.  
GC: Quickly, there's a mete-or h-oning in -on y-our hive.  
CA: Totem made, ~hat no~?  
GC: Use it with the alchemiter.  
GC: Y-ou sh-ould make s-omething, but it's uncertain as t-o what.

You quickly put the totem on the small platform of the alchemiter. Suddenly, a huge purple bear appears and drops a large fish before you can even think anything. Which, honestly, you haven't been thinking much lately. Everything's been happening so fast. You take a single glance at the fish and pull out your hunting knife. You grab the flopping violet fish and hack it's head off. It's a sloppy job and you're not proud of it, but it did something, because now your hive is shaking and filled with a bright light. It soon settles and you regain your bearings. The fish is gone, you are alone.  
And now for something completely different. 


	4. Act 1: Chapter 4

You are now someone completely different, doing something completely different. More specifically, you are this handsome, smart looking young man. That is to say, troll. Someone this smart and handsome looking probably has a smart and handsome looking name. Or at least one that isn't completely fucking stupid. Wanna try entering his name?  


>Enter name  


You skip the bullshit and comply. BRAILE PYROPE thanks you for your courtesies.  


Your name is BRAILE PYROPE and you have a very studious variety of interests. Like CHEMISTRY and ASTRONOMY, as well as CRIMINOLOGY and all things to do with it. This includes various CRIME DRAMAS and MYSTERY NOVELS. And by various you mean ALL OF THEM. Your trolltag is guillotineChemist and you speak in an intelligent, distant t-one.  


>Braile: Contemplate game that is yet to be played  


There is nothing to contemplate. You gave them to GA so he could copy them for distribution. Like a factory making shitty packaged grubloaf. Except instead of grubloaf it's a life changing game.  


>Braile: Examine drawings on the wall  


Your friend made these for you, drawings of your favorite crime dramas, showcasing the wonderful dynamic between the two main characters who are definitely not you and your boyfriend's self insert OC's back to back with suits and guns nope. Let's look at something else.  


>Look at plush toy  


Oh, that's just Pyralspite. You've had him since you were a grub and you don't have the heart to get rid of him. You have him for strict sentimental reasons.  


...  


What?  


...  


YEAH OKAY FINE MAYBE YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE WITH HIM DURING LOUD STORMS BUT IS THAT SUCH A CRIME WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO CUDDLE WITH HIM ALL THE TIME? He is so fluffy and soft. <3  


>Message Nixxie

\-- guillotineChemist [GC] began trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--  
GC: Hey.  
GC: Are y-ou there?  
CA: Yeah I'm here  
CA: I'm usually here unless I'm asleep or doin somethin a~ay from the computer.  
GC: True.  
GC: C-onsidering the average tr-oll ages five t-o eight spends ab-out eight teen p-oint nine h-ours a week, which translates int-o about tw-o p-oint seven h-ours a day, -on Tr-ollian and y-ou spend ab-out seventy-three p-0int five h-ours a week, which translates int-o ab-out ten p-oint five h-ours a day...  
GC: It is apparent t-o any-one with a brain that y-ou need t-o g-o the fuck -outside.  
CA: I do go outside!  
CA: Quite often too  
CA: Maybe not as much as AC but he spends most of his ~akin hours outside  
CA: I dont think you can spend more time outside ~ithout bein hivveless.  
CG: True.  
CA: Also I tend to leavve my computer runnin ~hen I go out.  
GC: That explains a l-ot.  
CA: Do you think he got your message to stay inside today  
CA: You kno~, so ~e can start the game.  
GC: I h-ope s-o.  
GC: D-o y-ou kn-ow h-ow -often he get's -on his c-omputer?  
CA: No he's pretty erratic about getting on.  
GC: Damn. -Oh well.  
GC: C-ould y-ou try c-ontacting him?  
CA: ~hy don't you contact him?  
GC: I'm busy.  
CA: You're al~ays busy.   
GC: -Of c-ourse. It takes w-ork t-o have such an amazing brain as mine.  
\-- guillotineChemist [GC] ceased trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--

>Message GA 

\-- guillotineChemist [GC] began trolling gemmeousAstronomer [GA] \--  
GC: Hey.  
GA: Hello BrAile  
GA: I wAnt to plAY A gAMe  
GC: I th-ought y-ou didn't watch h-orr-or films.  
GA: LiteRAllY eveRYone knows thAt one line BrAile  
GA: I grew up in A desert, not under A rock  
GC: Right, -okay.  
GC: My bad.  
GC: S-o I take it the disks have been c-ompleted?  
GA: YeAh theY'Re All done  
GA: AnY requests for when theY should be doled out?  
GC: As s-o-on as p-ossible.  
GC: I t-old Nixxie we'd play t-oday.  
GA: On her wriggling dAY?  
GC: It's my present f-or her.  
GA: A gAme scAvenged fRom mYsteRious fRog Ruins and then copied onto cheAp CD disks thAt no one knows about  
GA: Yes thAt's a greAt wRiggling dAY pResent  
GC: Y-ou're the -one wh-o f-ound it and wanted t-o play.  
GC: Y-ou never said when.  
GC: Besides, didn't y-ou find a guide -of s-ome s-orts?  
GA: Yes, but it's ReAllY heAvY hAnded And theRe's a lot of missing spots  
GC: Missing?  
GC: Like, cens-ored?  
GA: Yes, like censoRed.  
GA: It's like a ReAllY, ReAllY old fashioned novel with pARts completelY destRoYed bY wAteR dAmAge oR something so You don't undeRstAnd A woRd of whAt's hAppening.  
GC: Give it t-o me, I c-ould try t-o figure it -out.  
GA: YeAh You ARe betteR at puzzles than I Am.  
GA: I'll deliveR it with YouR disk.  
GC: -Okay great.  
GC: Nixxie's whining at me, I have to go.  
GA: OkAY, see You soon.  
GA: <3  
GC: <3  
\-- guillotineChemist [GC] ceased trolling gemmeousAstronomer [GA] \--

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  
CA: Heeeeeyyyyyyy  
CA: You there?  
CA: Obvviously not  
CA: ~hat are you doin any~ay?  
CA: You better not be mackin on your boyfriend  
CA: You t~o can smooch after evveryone has the game and stuff.  
GC: I'm g-one f-or seven and a half minutes and you're already getting -on my case and babbling.  
GC: Is that a new rec-ord?  
GC: It must be.  
GC: And y-ou kn-ow very well GA and I are n-ot in sm-o-oching range -of each -other.  
CA: :p  
CA: So are you goin to tell me ~hat you ~ere doin or ~hat.  
GC: I was asking GA when the disks w-ould be ready t-o distribute.  
CA: And???  
CA: ~hat did he say?  
GC: If y-ou'd h-old y-our seah-orses, I was getting t-o that.  
CG: He said y-ou sh-ould get them very s-o-on.  
GC: Apr-oximately ten minutes.  
CA: Really?  
GC: Yes really.  
GC: He als-o said y-ou were g-oing t-o be the first t-o get y-ours, n-ot c-ounting his -own c-opy.  
GC: I guess he d-oesn't want y-ou t-o thr-ow a hissy fit.  
CA: ~hat, does he think I'm impatient?  
GC: Yes.  
CA: :|  
GC: Y-ou sh-ould be getting the disk in a few minutes, it w-ould be a g-o-od idea t-o g-o wait f-or it.  
CA: Yeah okay  
CA: See ya, tell GA I said hi.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--

While she waits for her package, you wait for yours as well. You unplug your laptop from it's charger and walk out into your living room. GA did say he'd drop your package on the front porch. You asked why he couldn't deliver it to you personally, and he said it would ruin the point of the game, and also that delivering packages operates on a very tight schedule.  


You think that's probably bullshit but you don't know much about mail delivery.  


Nixxie gets her package in the time you're waiting. You tell her to start her game up as soon as you hear a small thump from your porch. Because you want to save time. Not because you're embarrassed. Shut up. You jump up and grab the box off the porch. The book is too heavy to grab it with one hand, so you put your server disk in first and go back for the book as it loads.  


When you get back to your computer, the game is loaded and Nixxie is wondering if there's something wrong with hers. She even has a purple streak in her hair, you thought she was lying about that, you think as you assure her everything's fine and move large machines from the menu and into her hive. You're surprised at how small her hive is, with her status, hers should be large enough for you to fit several copies of your hive in there. Instead, it's the opposite way around.  


She fiddles with the cruxtruder for a few seconds, then says she's going to hit it. You try to stop her, flipping to the page GA marked as "the start of information on the game" to gather more information on what possible actions she could, should, and probably won't take. You're pleasantly surprised and relieved to find out her actions couldn't be more correct. You read a little more on what you, as her server, need to do and issue commands to her as you go. But your nice feelings are demolished as you find out she most likely has a meteor heading right for her house.  


You chuck the first thing you pick up, a large book, into the flashing purple sphere as she makes a totem and puts it with the alchemiter. The clock ticks down from 0:15 as the totem summons a large bear that disappears as suddenly as it appeared, leaving a large, flopping purple fish in it's wake. Nixxie immediately pulls out a knife and chops the fish's head off in a few short, harsh swings. She becomes lost in a haze of bright light and shaking earth and your heart sinks in terror. 


	5. Act 1: Chapter 5

You're about to go into full out panic mode when the light fades. You breathe a sigh of relief as Nixxie comes back into view, though she looks extremely confused and her glasses are crooked.

GC: Thank g-od, y-ou're -okay.  
CA: Yeah  
CA: So ~hat the evver lovvin fuck just happened there?  
GC: Give me a minute, I'm l-o-oking.  
CA: Lookin?  
CA: At ~hat?  
GC: At the guide GA gave me.  
GC: It says y-ou're in the medium.  
CA: Okay  
CA: ~hat's that?  
GC: H-old -on, this is c-omplicated t-o explain.  
CG: Basically it's the starting p-oint -of the game and is apparently l-ocated in the middle -of a v-oid in space.  
CA: Vvoid?  
CA: Space?  
CA: ~hat?  
GC: Y-our kernelsprite c-ould tell y-u m-ore ab-out it than I can.  
CA: My ~HAT?  
GC: The gh-osty purple b-o-ok thing behind y-ou.  
CA: I havve no idea ~hat that means but fine.

At this point, Nixxie turned around and lost her shit when she saw the ghosty purple book thing behind her.

CA: ~HAT THE FUCK IS THAT?  
GC: I t-old y-ou, it's y-our kernelsprite.  
CA: ~ELL ~HAT THE FUCK D-OES THAT MEAN?  
GC: It means it's y-our friendly game guide.  
GC: Wh-o happens t-o be a gh-ost.  
GC: And als-o a b-o-ok.  
CA: BUT LIKE  
CA: IS IT GOIN TO EAT ME?  
GC: It's n-ot g-oing t-o eat y-ou, st-op screaming.  
CA: I THINK SCREAMIN IS THE LOGICAL THING TO DO IN THIS SITUATION OKAY  
CA: I'M IN GOD DAMN SPACE OR SOME SHIT ~ITH A BOOK GHOST  
CA: SO DEAL ~ITH MY HYSTERIA OR LEAVVE.  
GC: Just take a deep breath.  
GC: In and -out, there y-ou g-o.  
GC: Better?  
CA: Yeah  
CA: ~ell I'm still freaked out though  
CA: Because this thing isn't evven sayin real ~ords  
CA: I don't kno~ ~hat it's doin.  
GC: Y-ou have t-o pr-ot-otype it again.  
GC: Just thr-ow s-omething in there.  
CA: Can I ~ait a little or do I havve a time limit  
CA: All this stuff is ~eird and I need to think about it.  
GC: N-o, y-ou d-on't have a time limit.  
GC: Take y-our time.  
GC: I'm g-oing t-o see h-ow CG and GA are d-oing, s-o I'm g-oing t-o leave y-ou al-one f-or n-ow.  
CA: Okay.  
GC: I'll build up y-our h-ouse a little t-o-o, while I'm at it.  
GC: -Oh, speaking -of building, t-o get the materials, you have t-o kill m-onsters in the game.  
CA: ~hat.  
\-- guillotineChemist [GC] ceased trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--  
CA: NO YOU ABSOLUTE ASS GET BACK HERE  
CA: GIVVE ME AN EXPLANATION RIGHT NO~  
CA: FUCKIN ASSHOLE YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT AND LEAVVE ME ON MY OWN THAT'S NOT RIGHT  
CA: Yeah you're long gone.

>Be Nixxie 

You are now Nixxie. Your friend has left you alone in the middle of space with a gibberish spewing book ghost and the probability of monsters ready to rip your throat out. This is the textbook definition of a perfect day. 

You hope your lusus is okay. That mention of monsters has you paranoid now. Great. You leave the room and descend the stairs, grumbling and cursing Braile for leaving you with no information on these monsters you have to fight. Asshole. 

The living room is empty when you enter it and you sigh slightly in disappointment. It couldn't be easy, could it? You withdraw your rifle from your sylladex and the weight and feel of the cool blue metal in your hands makes you feel more secure already. If any monster tries to mess with you now, they will be royally fucked. You step into the kitchen, no sign of your lusus or any monster looking things. This is getting a little ridiculous you think, peeking into your laundry room and a couple spare bathrooms. There's not too many places he could be, unless he went outside. 

The thought brings a sudden, strong sense of dread onto you. You really hope he didn't go outside, it's dark as fuck out there. And with the looming thoughts of monsters on your mind, you don't need that right now. You begin to distract yourself with other thoughts, literally anything else so long as it's not whatever might be lurking in the dark, that you don't notice something's snuck up on you until it claws your arm. You scream and turn around, loosing a beam of pure white hot energy from your rifle. You take a few deep breaths, and then suck in a big one of horror. You accidentally shot a huge hole into your wall, with scorched, smoking edges. 

This is why we don't have our extremely powerful energy rifles on high blast in the hive.


	6. Act 1: Chapter 6

You look around the floor quickly, but don't see any blood. All you see are a couple weird, hexagonal shapes on the floor, and a white slab of something. Or maybe it's a sheet? You reach out to poke it with your foot, but it disappears with a "blip!" sound on contact. What the fuck. Oh, there's your lusus.

Your lusus is currently freaking out about the hole in the wall, running back and forth and through the hole, as if testing to make sure it's actually there. He catches sight of you and dashes over, poking you with his snout and nibbling your hair, trying to assess any damage. You calm him down and lead him to one of your larger bathrooms. He'll be safer here, you think. You even leave the door open a little so he can escape if necessary, but he seems content enough under the towel you draped over him. You scowl and scrutinize the wounds on your arm, which can barely be called wounds. They're more like papercuts. 

They still hurt like hell, though. You turn on the faucet in the bathroom, pleasantly surprised to find the water is still working. As you run the cuts under some water, you hear a ding from your mobile device. Hopefully Braile's come back to give you answers. 

>Answer  


\-- arsonistsArsenic [AA] began trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--  
AA: hey i hear you started playing  
AA: haVe you gotten past the tutorial or should i Wait a couple hours  
CA: There is no tutorial  
CA: The closest thing I had to a tutorial ~as Shitlock Assholmes and he's buggered off some~here, leavvin me alone in the middle of assfuck no~here, space, ~ith a fuckin ghost and a bunch of monsters runnin around.  
AA: shitlock assholMes?  
CA: Out of all the things I say, that's the one you focus on  
CA: Nice to kno~ ~here your priorities lie  
CA: Shitlock Assholmes is Braile bt~.  
AA: yeah i knoW Who it is  
AA: iM not an idiot like you  
AA: i Was just Wondering Why you called hiM that  
CA: Did you completely miss the part ~here I said he left me in space  
CA: Because he left me in space  
CA: ~ith ghosts and monsters and shit  
CA: I havve scratches on my arm okay fuck off.  
AA: you seem pretty deVoted to this gaMe of pretend  
CA: You're shittin me  
CA: Okay, you kno~ ~hat, doesn't matter  
CA: Just keep in mind I ~on't be nearly as kind and helpful ~hen it's your turn to enter the game.  
AA: uggghhhh dont reMind Me  
AA: id rather not think about you and i haVing to "get along" WhateVer that Wretched phrase Means  
CA: I think it's an alien custom  
CA: It invvolvves bein "nice" and "polite" and "nonvviolent to~ards your ~orst enemy" ~hich sounds like a terrible ~ay to livve your life  
CA: I havve other things to do any~ay  
CA: Like figure out ~hat the hell I'm doin.  
AA: alright fine lets say youre not lying  
AA: Why didnt you ask braile More questions about What you're supposed to do?  
CA: ~ell 1) I had no idea ~hat the fuck this game ~as gonna be about so I ~as just goin ~ith the flo~  
CA: 2) I had a really short countdo~n thingy so I didn't really ~anna kno~ ~hat ~as gonna happen ~hen it hit zero  
CA: I think it ~as a meteor I don't kno~  
CA: And 3) Braile just left ~ith no ~arnin so I couldn't exactly say evverything I had on my mind  
CA: But yeah I could havve asked a lot more questions than I did.  
AA: yeah you could haVe  
CA: So you believve me?  
AA: Well  
AA: i Wouldnt say belieVe perse  
AA: but iM slightly less skeptic than i Was before  
AA: Mostly because youre going on pretty specific rants  
CA: :)  
AA: please dont  
CA: :(  
CA: I'm jokin  
CA: Also I just noticed my kernelsprite's been follo~in me this ~hole time  
CA: ~o~ I'm observvant.  
AA: kernelsprite?  
CA: The ghost thing  
CA: Alright I'm goin to go fight more monsters and see ~hat Braile's doin  
CA: Other than messin ~ith my hivve I can feel that  
CA: I'll connect ~ith you soon  
CA: See you then, asshat.  
AA: bye  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA] \--   


You peek out the bathroom door and window, making sure there's no monsters lurking nearby, waiting to attack you. Once you're satisfied with the level of safety in your makeshift fortress, you contact Braile. 

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  
CA: Hey you ~anna tell me ~hat the fuck attacked me?  
GC: Hell-o t-o y-ou t-o-o, Nixxie.  
GC: That was an imp, -one -of the l-ower leveled "m-onsters" called underlings.  
CA: I ~anted to kno~ ~hat it ~as and ho~ dangerous it ~as, not it's life story  
CA: If I ~anted a long lecture on history, I'd go to AA  
CA: Also if I ~anted to commit suicide by boredom.  
GC: Well y-our chances -of dying are l-ow, if n-ot n-onexistant.  
GC: I'm n-ot sure if y-ou can even die in this game.  
GC: Als-o, why haven't y-ou pr-ot-otyped y-our sprite yet?  
CA: I'vve been busy  
CA: I ~anted to make sure my lusus ~as okay  
CA: Also I ~as kinda scared because I didn't kno~ ~hat sort of monsters ~ere out there.  
GC: Th-ose s-ound like reas-onable en-ough alibis.  
GC: I'll let y-ou g-o.  
GC: This time.  
CA: Shut up  
CA: Is there any ~ay you could fix the enormous hole in my ~all?  
GC: N-o, we're -out -of build grist, I can't d-o anything.  
CA: ~hat's build grist?  
GC: Th-ose blue hexag-onal things the imp dr-opped when y-ou sh-ot it.  
GC: Y-ou might want t-o put y-our weap-on -on a l-ower setting, if p-ossible.  
CA: Oh yeah, thanks for remindin me.  
GC: Y-our welc-ome.  
GC: Sh-ould I let y-ou get t-o m-onster hunting?  
CA: Yeah  
CA: I'll keep an eye out for anything to thro~ in the sprite, too.  
GC: -Oh, ab-out that,  
GC: Y-ou're pr-obably busy hunting m-onsters and wrangling lusii, s-o if y-ou want I c-ould pr-ototype the sprite f-or y-ou.  
CA: Yeah sure go for it  
CA: See, you reminded me about my gun and I reminded you about the sprite thingy  
CA: Now that's ~hat friends are for.  
GC: Is this what friendship is all about?  
CA: Yes  
CA: This is exactly ~hat friendship is all about.  
GC: Sweet.  
GC: -Okay, y-ou sh-ould pr-obably be g-oing.  
CA: Yeah  
CA: See you.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  


Now that all that crap is taken care of, you think you'll go hunt some monsters. Nothing will stop you from this exciting, violent quest for materials. You fix the setting of your rifle and think this will be the most exciting, non-life threatening part of your quest yet.


	7. Act 1: Chapter 7

But first, let's be this gentleman. We haven't heard much from or about him. He's probably a very interesting fellow. But first, he needs a name.  


>Enter name  


Your name is GAMILL MARYAM and you have quite a few interests. You enjoy SCIENCE FICTION, ASTRONOMY, GEOLOGY and ARCHAEOLOGY, as well as various ARTS AND CRAFTS and FANTASITICAL TALES OF MYTHICAL CREATURES, such as RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS. These interests often take you EXPLORING, looking for MINERAL SAMPLES and HIDDEN TOMBS filled with RELICS OF SWEEPS PAST. Luckily there are RUINS right outside your hive, just ripe with ARCHAEOLOGICAL PICKINGS. Your trolltag is gemmeousAstronomer and you speAk in A snARkY, humorous tone of voice. What will you do now?  


>Deliver game disks  


You've already delivered them, silly! It was one of the first things you did this morning. Or evening, in other parts of the planet.  


>Wonder how you delivered disks all across the world in less than an hour  


Your lusus, duh! How else would you get all those disks transported all that way in such a small amount of time? A magic sleigh? Please, everyone knows magic isn't real.  


>Contact one of your friends other than Braile

\-- gemmeousAutodidact [GA] began trolling cachaemicGonoph [CG] \--  
GA: Hello  
GA: ARe You theRe?  
CG: h!, yes !m here!  
CG: bra!le's talking to me too now, though  
GA: Well You'Re populaR with the Male folk ARen't You  
CG: yes yes ! am  
CG: !t !s l!ke  
CG: ! am the queen  
CG: and you are all my trusty concub!nes  
GA: Yes  
GA: You ARe the queen  
GA: It is You  
CG: the only one m!ss!ng !s my trusty mo!ra!l  
CG: but shes probably be!ng a lazy butt face and sleep!ng  
GA: Yes I believe she is  
GA: But I'M sure she will wAke up soon  
CG: ! hope so  
CG: !m exc!ted to play th!s game w!th her!  
CG: ! havent seen her in a wh!le and ! have heard from a very smart and trustworthy source that play!ng th!s game w!ll resolve that problem  
CG: but ! th!nk pass!ng !t through a second smart and trustworthy source would be a smart th!ng to do  
GA: As A second sMARt And tRustwoRthY souRce I cAn confiRM thAt to be tRue  
CG: yaaaaaay  
CG: would my second smart and trustworhy source be so kind as to tell me what the game !n quest!on !s about? o:B  
GA: Well...  
GA: I don't wAnt to spoil anYthing...  
GA: And this gAMe is hARd to explAin anYwaY...  
GA: But it does involve A lot of building And inteRAction and Action  
GA: RegulAR Action I MeAn  
CG: !s that all you can tell me? ):B  
GA: Yes, As of now  
CG: okay  
CG: hold on  
CG: tcs on!!!!!!  
CG: f!nally  
CG: ! have to go !m be!ng bur!ed !n messages  
GA: OkAY bYe  
CG: bye bye!  
\-- gemmeousAutodidact [GA] ceased trolling cachaemicGonoph [CG] \--

You think that's it for all the people you have to talk to today. You think you'll lay back, read a book or work on some needlepoint, maybe take a nap. Just lay back and not do that, because now someone's trolling you.  
Again.

\-- aestheogenicGuader [AG] began trolling gemmeousAutodidact [GA] \--  
AG: heeeeeeeey  
AG: hows my favorite moirail doing?  
GA: I'M doing fine, not much hAs changed in the pAst houR  
GA: Is theRe A ReAson You'Re contActing me AgAin?  
AG: what am i not allowed to talk to my moirail every now and again?  
AG: may8e i just got a little lonely  
GA: You seeM to be AwfullY lonelY for soMeone who talks to so mAnY people so often  
GA: You tAlk to Me At leAst three tiMes A dAy And CT for even longer, I would iMAgine  
GA: EspeciAllY since she lives Right next to you  
GA: And whAt About AC?  
GA: I know You tAlk to hiM A lot  
AG: well you seem to 8e awfully chilly for someone who is renowned for his patience and kindness  
AG: even if he is a snarky little shit sometimes  
GA: SoRRY I didn't MeAn to be inconsideRAte  
AG: ill forgive you  
AG: soooooooo any word on when i might 8e a8le to play this game?  
AG: or do you want to 8e cagey and secretive a8out that too  
GA: It Might be A while before You'Re Able to plAY  
GA: But before the dAY is oveR I pRoMise  
AG: good  
AG: id h8 to w8 weeks just to play a stupid game  
AG: youre luck youre playing or else i might not even 8other  
AG: okay 8ye  
\-- aestheogenicGuader [AG] ceased trolling gemmeousAutodidact [GA] \--

Sometimes you wonder why you even bother with him, he rarely ever listens to you. Unless it directly affects him everything just goes in one ear and out the other. Not to mention he's impatient and clingy. But you feel like if you don't stay with him, than nobody will. You don't know what would happen after that but you have a feeling it wouldn't be pleasant.  


You're going to go take that nap now.


	8. Act 1: Chapter 8

>Gamill: be someone less boring  


Wow fuck you too. But I guess I understand. I meaning the author, because Gamill is currently conked out in dreamland. It's a shame you're so eager to move on, he probably would have been more than willing to let you see some of his dream visions, which would probably be important to the story later on. But you're getting impatient and we have a lot of characters to introduce and a lot of events to see, so I'll shift focus for you.  


>No go back! I wanna see the dream visions!  


Too late, you had your chance. You are now this broody looking young man.  


>Enter name  


Your name is DEOGEN MEGIDO and you like FIRE and HISTORY. These things often DO NOT GO WELL TOGETHER, so you make sure to take your pyromanic interests safely away from your HISTORICAL PAPERS and BOOKS. You gained this interest after hearing VOICES OF DEAD AND LOST SOULS all your life. You hoped to learn something from your horrible psychic mediumship and often listened to them and asked them questions on their ADVENTURES OF LONG AGO.  


Sadly, you hear just as many encouragements of RECKLESS VIOLENCE as well as tales of ancient and not so ancient practices, so you tend to ignore their advice. You record your findings with RESEARCH PAPERS and have HISTORY TEXTBOOKS laying around for extra reference. It would completely destroy you if your PRECIOUS HISTORICAL DOCUMENTS were lost or damaged in any way.  


You also like to play PIANO sometimes, though the only one you could afford to buy was a cheap plastic KEYBOARD. You SUPPOSE it works, though it's not nearly as cool or elegant as a REAL PIANO. Your trolltag is arsonistsArsenic and you speak in a calM Manner soMetiMes punctuated With firey outbursts.  


>Cut to the chase and begin playing piano immediately  


You play a beautiful and haunting refrain on your key oh god damn it you accidentally hit the electronica setting again. Stupid god damn lousy useless buttons. You don't want to play electronica music, you just want to play normal music. Electronica music sounds like a bunch of machines being murdered, screaming monotonously as they get passed through the incinerator.  


While you're haing an internal hissy fit, someone with entirely different views on electronic music begins trolling you.

\-- teslasAdjutor [TA] began trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA] \--  
TA: 2h0uld 1 even b0ther tell1ng y0u were all g0nna d1e 2day 0r are y0u g0nna be all 2kept1cal and 0pt1m12t1c l1ke every0ne el2e  
TA: hell0??  
TA: are y0u even there?  
TA: g0d damn 1 2h0uld ju2t 2t0p try1ng 2 be n1ce  
AA: oh hey sorry  
AA: i Was fiddling With My keyboard again  
AA: stupid piece of shit  
TA: 0h hey 2up  
TA: 20 yeah a2 1 wa2 2ay1ng  
TA: every0ne el2e 1 talked 2 d1dnt believe me when 1 2a1d we were g0nna d1e d0 y0u want 2 be the 0ne that break2 the pattern  
AA: yeah i belieVe you  
AA: We're both psychic reMeMber  
AA: if i didnt belieVe you that'd be like saying  
AA: Well i dont knoW  
AA: i just think it'd be a little hypocritical really  
TA: 1 a2ked 1f y0u w0uld bel1eve me 1 d1dnt a2k f0r y0u 2 0pen y0ur ve1n2 and p0ur all y0ur br00dy wh1neyness all 0ver me  
AA: Well excuse Me then  
AA: My bad for haVing eMotions other than hate and anger  
TA: excu2e y0u 1 have em0ti0n2 0ther than hate and anger  
TA: l1ke hunger and b0red0m  
TA: 1 ju2t d0nt feel them a2 0ften  
AA: hunger isn't eVen an eMotion  
TA: 1 beg 2 d1ffer  
AA: okay back to the subject of death  
AA: hoW are We all going to die?  
TA: th12 game  
TA: 1 d0nt kn0w the 2pec1f1c2 0f 1t but 1t def1n1tely 1nv0lve2 th12 game  
AA: okay  
AA: so i figure i should keep quiet about this  
TA: ye2 0bv10u2ly  
TA: d0nt feel bad 1t2 pretty much 1nev1table anyway  
AA: i figured  
AA: Why is shit like this alWays ineVitable it's not fair  
TA: n0 2h1t  
TA: 0kay 1m g0nna let y0u br00d 2ee ya  
AA: see ya  
\-- telsasAdjutor [TA] ceased trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA] \--

>Disregard pessimistic friend's warning  
You literally JUST SAID that would be hypocritical. But yeah she is kind of pessimistic and you don't really want to think about what she said.  


>Troll Nixxie to ease nerves

\-- arsonistsArsenic [AA] began trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--  
AA: hey i hear you started playing  
AA: haVe you gotten past the tutorial or should i Wait a couple hours

Then you have a conversation that we've already seen. That conversation didn't really help, though. You're just more worried now. About yourself of course, and your friends. Not Nixxie, screw her. You wouldn't miss her if she died you would probably throw a huge party and who are you kidding of course you'd miss her you truculent fuck. Even if you argue nonstop, you'd feel empty without your kismesis. Such is the joy of troll romance.  


Oh look someone's trolling you.  


>Distract yourself

\-- aslansCatastrophe [AC] began trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA] \--  
AC: hey there!  
AC: has nixxie started playing yet?  
AA: yeah  
AA: Why not ask her yourself?  
AC: i dont want to bother purr if she has  
AC: ta told me that this game is dangerous  
AC: i dont really believe purr but better safe than sorry  
AC: i wouldnt want my friend to get hurt because of me  
AA: yeah that's understandable  
AA: can We talk about soMething else noW?  
AA: i dont really Want to think about things like this  
AC: oh of course!  
AC: i didnt mewn to make mew feel uncomfortable sorry  
AA: its fine  
AA: its Mostly Me being paranoid  
AA: so What are you doing  
AC: ive been mewning to make at something so ive been working on that  
AC: i have a lot of time since im cooped up in here for a while  
AA: that sounds cool  
AA: is it food or a draWing?  
AC: a drawing  
AC: but maybe i should cook purr something too!!  
AC: i should finish this though  
AC: i might have purrcatstinated a little on finishing it  
AA: your cat puns Will neVer cease to aMaze Me  
AA: and i dont knoW Whether thats a coMpliMent or an insult  
AA: i just sort of shake My head and roll My eyes WheneVer i see them like "ahh those puns again"  
AC: well i am going to take it as a complurrment  
AA: okay that one Was a little far fetched  
AC: yeah youre right  
AA: iM going to check on nixxie and see if shes trapped in a hole or soMething  
AC: have i ever told you how CUTE i think you two are?  
AC: claws i think you two are adorapurr  
AA: iM not cute iM aWesoMe and dangerous and sMart  
AA: and she sure as hell isnt cute  
AA: she is the Most vapid poMpous asshole i haVe eVer Met  
AC: uhhuh  
AC: give me a c!  
AC: give me a u!  
AA: oh be quiet and Work on your draWing  
AC: cutiiiiiieeeeeessssss  
AA: no  
\-- arsonistsArsenic [AA] ceased trolling aslansCatastrophe [AC] \--

Who the hell does he think he is, calling you cute? Stupid, god damn, lousy friend. Sometimes he's so nice it makes you want to puke or punch a wall. Damn it you wish he wasn't always right about things like this.  


>Switch back to Nixxie  


The narrative switches back to Nixxie. Goddness gracious look at all this grist. While the narrative was distracted with other things, you rocketed up two rungs of your echeladder. You acsended from lowly KRILL FODDER and now you have the honor of being SHARK BAIT. You got a few hundred boondollars and your grist cache expanded! Other than that you're not sure what this system is supposed to do. Measure and reward your strength as you progress through the game probably. Maybe you'll ask Braile later. Or maybe now since he's pestering you. You gather all the grist and answer him.

\-- guillotineChemist [GC] began trolling calyposAqueduct [CA] \--  
GC: I pr-ot-otyped y-our sprite f-or y-ou.  
GC: Actually I did that alm-ost ten minutes ag-o.  
GC: Y-ou l-o-oked really int-o killing th-ose imps th-ough, I didn't want t-o interupt.  
CA: Oops sorry  
CA: I did get a little distracted  
CA: Killin these things is kinda cathartic though.  
GC: I w-ould imagine.  
CA: So ~hat did you prototype my sprite ~ith?  
CA: ~ait I see it  
CA: Omg  
CA: You are  
CA: THE BEST!!!  
GC: I figured y-ou w-ould like that.  
CA: Are you kiddin I fuckin LOVVE IT  
CA: This is so a~esome  
CA: No~ I havve a ~ise ~izard guide  
CA: My journey can finally begin.  
GC: I h-ope I d-ont bec-ome -obs-olete after this.  
GC: I w-ould miss being y-our walking encycl-opedia.  
CA: Oh don't ~orry I'll al~ays bother you ~ith dumb stuff  
CA: Like ~hat an echeladder is.  
GC: Is that a plea f-or inf-ormati-on -or an example?  
CA: Both.  
GC: An echeladder is a system designed t-o moniter and reward y-our strength when y-ou turn six.  
GC: It uses a useless currency f-or rewards and silly s-ounding titles and apparently expands y-our grist cache.  
GC: Als-o y-our achievements can be viewed thr-ough the SBURB server screen f-or s-ome reas-on.  
GC: And since y-ou're the -oldest -of -our little gr-oup -of friends and friends -of friends y-ou are the -only -one wh-o has it unl-ocked.  
CA: A~esome  
CA: I kne~ it ~as more than just a silly re~ard system  
CA: That's ~hy I asked you  
CA: Ho~ do you kno~ all this stuff any~ay?  
GC: Sleepless days reading and learning and br-owsing Tr-ollpedia.  
CA: Sounds plausible  
CA: ~hoa holy shit  
CA: Did you drop something big on my hivve?  
GC: N-o I haven't really d-one anything f-or a while.  
GC: I g-ot caught up talking with y-ou.  
GC: And I haven't really d-one anything big, just making walls and f-oundati-ons m-ostly.  
CA: Okay  
CA: I'm gonna invvestigate it  
CA: And probably get myself killed  
CA: Like in a horror movvie.  
GC: Be careful.  
GC: I have t-o check s-omething -out real quick but I'll be back sh-ortly.  
CA: I ~ill  
CA: You be careful too.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--


	9. Act 1: Chapter 9

You put away your mobile device and look around for any signs of what made your hive shake like an etch-a-sketch. You see nothing but your sprite, which you decide to call bookwizardsprite, and a couch and rugs and a coffee table. Normal biz for your living room. Except imps trashed the place and either scurried off or fell prey to the wrath of AHAB'S CROSSHAIRS. Or rather, the wrath of you wielding Ahab's Crosshairs. You would rather ignore the torn furniture and scattered papers and stuffing and you think you saw some broken ceramics but you're NOT thinking about that.

You lean out of your now broken window, trying to look up to the top of your hive. It doesn't work of course, it's too tall to see over the top. It'd have been too tall even before Braile started making it look like a god damn tower. Or at least a chunky and feeble attempt at one. You hope it'll look better later on. 

>Consider a name for your sprite that is less of a mouthful 

You're extremely reluctant to find out what's making your hive shake so much, so you consider any better names for your sprite. 

You can't think of any real names, however, and settle on calling him BW. 

Putting that bullshit behind you, you ascend up the stairs to the (probable) source of the shaking. Braile made a new, albeit narrow, set of stairs up to the growing extensions on top of your hive. You step carefully on the stairs, only just wide enough for you to stand on, and climb to the top of your hive as quickly as you dare. You peek around over the edge of the roof, but you don't see anything. No imps or anything bigger. Of course there's still that stupid half room thing that's barely more than, what, two walls and a top? Fucking bullshit. That's what you get for trying to build so big so early BRAILE. You hear a loud grumbling behind you and immediately leap up and fling yourself forward, barely missing getting smashed with a giant fist. In front of you is a pale gold-white colored giant ogre. There's a label with a health bar and the beast's name above it's head; SANDSTONE OGRE. How convenient. You shift your weapons setting to the highest it can go, aim and fire. The ogre is visibly damaged and angered by the attack, but it doesn't die as quick as the imps. After a few seconds it grabs you and throws you through the floor to the landing below, right next to the stairs. You cry out in pain as you land right on your ass. You pull out your mobile device and angrily message Braile. 

  


\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  
CA: This is bullshit  
CA: I can't fuckin deal ~ith this bullshit  
CA: I mean I probably can but I don't ~ant to  
CA: Fuckin tedious  
CA: ~hatevver time for round t~o.  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  


You then shake yourself off and scamper up the stairs again, only to fall off halfway up. God damn motherfucking STAIRS! Why didn't Braile warn you about these fucking things? 

Elsewhere a boy ventures out of his hive to check on his unborn custodian. Deep in a half burned forest, a teal colored egg balances with a skull of a long dead mother grub on a doomsday clock, the metal blackened by time and ash. It doesn't look like it's about to hatch. But that will probably change today. The clock remains unactivated but the sky glows a dark red-orange, signaling the arrival of meteors in other parts of the planet. It saddens you that your custodian has to hatch under conditions like this. 

You climb the stairs, successfully this time, to find the ogre waiting for you. It tries to hit you, but you backflip out of the way, aiming for the eyes. You shoot once you land and the giant monster is thrown into fits of anger and pain. The green bar of it's health depleats steadily as seconds tick by, but with only a little bit of health left your rifle suddenly dies. You shake it a little and even look down the tip, as if it had a barrel like a regular gun. Jeez, didn't anyone ever teach you gun safety? The ogre wastes no time grabbing it out of your hands and bludgeoning you with it. You'd tell him that's not how it's supposed to work, but you're already trying to avoid injury and possibly death. It might have enough power for a single low power shot and you really don't want the ogre figuring out how to properly wield your weapon. 

Braile said you probably couldn't die because of this game, but you don't trust him or this stupid game anymore. 

The boy returns to his hive after a trek through the forest. You sit down at your computer, which you plugged back into the charger before you left, and see your friend's empty hive. You zoom out and scroll up to the roof, where your friend is getting beaten mercilessly by a sandstone ogre. She's fending him off feebly, mostly swinging her arms and trying to jump out of the way of the ogre's weapon, a large blue rifle he's using as a club. Nixxie sneaks in a couple kicks to the shins a couple times, but if it hurts the ogre, you don't see it. You scroll back down quickly and grab the first piece of furniture you see, a nice highbacked chair, and drop it on the ogre. It didn't have much health left and dies as soon as the chair hit it, practically exploding grist. Nixxie catches her rifle as it falls and her sprite collects the grist as she talks to you.  


\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  
CA: Hey good job ~ith that arm chair.  
GC: Are y-ou -okay?  
CA: Yeah I'm fine  
CA: I'm more bruised than a fresh summer peach, but I'll livve  
CA: Ho~ about you  
CA: ~here did you scurry off too?  
GC: I went t-o check -on my cust-odian.  
CA: Oh, yours nevver hatched right?  
GC: Yeah.  
GC: She still hasn't, in case y-ou were w-ondering.  
CA: I ~as, but I figured you'd tell me if she did  
CA: Ho~ long havve I been playin this game, it feels like ~eeks.  
GC: Ab-out an h-our and a half.  
CA: I suppose I should get Deogen into the game at some point  
CA: But all these fuckin IMPS and OGRES are drivvin me up the ~all  
CA: Bastards broke my vvase  
CA: That ~as expensivve too  
CA: And pretty. :(  
GC: If y-ou g-o back t-o y-our r-o-om, I can bl-ock the d-o-or and keep the imps at bay l-ong en-ough f-or y-ou t-o get De-ogen in and m-ourn y-our fallen ceramics.  
GC: He can handle himself f-or the m-ost part after that.  
CA: Okay  
CA: I havve to charge my ~eapon too any~ay  
CA: Get another cartridge  
CA: Hopefully I left them ~here I think I did or else I'm scre~ed.  
GC: Y-ou can make m-ore with the alchemiter.  
GC: Did y-ou kn-ow?  
CA: No no I did not kno~ this  
CA: ~hat do I do just throw a cartridge on the little pedestal and bam I got fifty more?  
GC: N-o n-ot exactly.  
GC: Remember when we made the t-otem that g-ot y-ou int-o the medium?  
CA: Vvaguely.  
GC: Well the pr-ocess is exactly like that, except y-ou have t-o punch y-our -own cards.  
CA: Okay  
CA: I'll do that later  
CA: I havve to get Pyrofreak McBorinpants in first  
CA: I guess.  
GC: -Okay, I'll let y-ou get t-o it.  
GC: Have fun.  
CA: Bluh.  
GC: Try talking t-o y-our sprite m-ore as well.  
\-- guillotineChemist [GC] ceased trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--  


You stick your tongue out to prove how you're not looking forward to this and you head upstairs, feigning a bratty stompfest. That should bring some mild amusement to Braile in what is likely to be the most boring and tedious part of your adventure yet.


	10. Act 1: Chapter 10

You tramp up to your room dramatically and message Deogen to get his client copy or whatever ready so you can start the game as you get the other disk out from your package. You eject the other disk and replace it with your server disk. You hope that wasn't a stupid thing to do, but judging from the lack of loud thudding noises of large objects being dropped without warning or confused and frustrated messages, you assume it is. You talk to Deogen as the game loads.

\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] began trolling arsonistArsenic [AA] \--  
CA: Are you ready to be transported to a barren ~asteland filled ~ith imps and ogre and ~ho kno~s ~hat else?  
AA: not really  
CA: That's the spirit  
CA: Install your client disk thingy and I'll install my servver copy.  
AA: okay  
AA: so What do these do  
CA: Not tellin. :P  
AA: youre joking  
AA: Why  
CA: I told you I ~asn't goin to be nearly as helpful as Braile ~hen it ~as your turn to play  
CA: I'll do the vvery least necessary for you to stay alivve, that's it.  
AA: you  
AA: i  
AA: Why  
AA: just  
AA: WhateVer  
AA: fuck you  
CA: Maybe later.  
AA: oh ha ha real original  
AA: real Mature  
AA: so hilarious  
CA: Don't givve yourself a concussion.  
AA: shut the fuck up  
AA: the gaMe loaded What the hell do i do noW  
CA: Jesus your hivve is tiny  
CA: Not that I expected much but still  
CA: I'm gonna havve to clear some room hold on.  
AA: clear soMe rooM?  
AA: for What?  
AA: nixxie?  
CA: I'm thro~in a toilet through your ~all ~atch out.  
AA: WHAT??  


You throw the toilet through his bathroom wall, making a decent sized hole in it. You manage to squeeze the totem lathe between his respiteblock and his bathroom. Deogen looks on angry and disgusted. You set up the rest of the machines through out his hive as he grows more and more frustrated. There seems to be more devices than Braile put in your hive, but they cost grist. You don't think you have that much grist, and even if you did, Deogen's hive is too small for more than the bare basics at this point. You try to put in the punch card shunt, but it's useless, though rather inexpensive. After you set up all the machines, you check back on your messages. Apparently Deogen has been feverently messaging you about the damage you're doing to his hive. 

AA: DID YOU REALLY JUST THROW A FUCKING TOILET INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK?  
AA: WHAT THE HELL  
AA: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME  
AA: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW  
AA: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT  
AA: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY HIVE  
CA: ~o~ calm do~n  
CA: Seriously  
CA: I needed room to put the totem lathe.  
AA: What the hell is that and Why should i care  
CA: It's a thing you need to get in the game and not get hit by a meteor  
CA: Stay clear of the big machine with the chimney thing  
CA: I'm gonna drop something on it.  
AA: drop What?  


You drag his toilet out to the living room and drop it on the cruxtruder. The contents of both devices spill out, making quite a mess. You wonder if his countdown's broken, it doesn't seem to be moving. Nope there it goes. Apparently he gets an hour while you barely got a minute. 

This is bullshit. 

Deogen thinks so too. At least, you think that's what he's thinking. He's just sort of standing in the doorway with his hands on his face. If he noticed the kernelsprite, you can't tell. You can't say you blame him. You make a note to clean up this mess later on. You drop the cruxite dowel by his feet and drag a pre punched card next to it. 

CA: I gavve you a pre punched card  
CA: Put it in the type~riter thing.  
AA: okay noW What  
CA: Put it in the totem lathe with the cylinder thing  
CA: Then put it on the alchemiter  
CA: The big platform thingy.  
AA: okay i got a clock  
AA: What noW  
CA: Put something in the flashy orb thing.  
AA: soMething What do you Mean soMething  
CA: Anything  
CA: Like literally anything  
CA: Just thro~ something in.  
AA: Why  
CA: I don't kno~ ask Braile he's the kno~ it all  
CA: I'm just relayin information from my o~n experiences to make sure you don't die  
CA: No~ stop askin so many questions.  
AA: hell no  
AA: if i'M getting into soMething dangerous i Want to knoW exactly What it is  
AA: noW What does this do  
CA: It affects your enemies someho~ I don't kno~  
CA: Up till recently most of the imps around my hivve had like papery skin  
CA: Sometimes sandstone or something  
CA: Not that they ~ere any easier to kill but it looked like they ~ere made out of paper mache.  
AA: you seeM rather helpful for soMeone Who said they didnt Want to help Me  
CA: Just because I'm helpin you doesn't mean ~e're friends.  
AA: good i don't Want to be your friend anyWay  
CA: So are you gonna put something in the orb or ~hat?  
AA: is there another naMe for it  
AA: just calling it an orb sounds duMb  
CA: I think Braile called it a kernelsprite  
CA: That sounds dumb too though.  
AA: Well i like kernelsprite better than orb  
CA: Okay okay just put something in the fuckin kernelsprite already  
CA: You ~asted ten minutes with this bullshit that's ten minutes closer a meteor is to your hivve.  
AA: okay okay just let Me find soMething  
CA: Thro~ a book in  
CA: That's ~hat I did.  
AA: no that's stupid  
AA: also What do i do With this clock  
CA: I don't kno~ take it ~ith you  
CA: I'm gonna kill some more imps and ogres ~e could probably use the grist  
CA: Oh fuck I meant to charge my ~eapon oops  
CA: Yeah I'm gonna go message me if you're about to die.  
AA: in your dreams  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling arsonistsArsenic [AA] \--

You detach the power supply from your rifle and plug it into the power strip under your desk. Then you search your bookshelves for the charged cartridges you almost definitely have somewhere in this room aha there they are. You clip it on and slip an extra couple into your sylladex. You adjust the rifle's setting to medium and mentally prepare yourself to leave. Hopefully the imps didn't ruin too much. But right before you leave, you hear someone message you. Does Deogen need help already? 

\-- cachalotCacophony [CC] began trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--  
CC: hi!  
CA: Oh hey  
CA: It's about time you got on I'vve been a~ake for like fivve hours  
CA: I think  
CA: Close enough.  
CC: h()w are y()u even able t() get up that early?  
CC: i have t() give myshellf a whole pep talk bef()re i get up  
CC: and even then i just want t() g() back t() sleep  
CA: Because I'm a ~eirdo  
CA: Ho~ long havve you been up?  
CC: n()t l()ng  
CC: maybay half an h()ur  
CC: i remembered we were supp()sed t() d() s()mething but i cant remember water  
CA: ~e're playin a game  
CA: SBURB remember  
CA: All caps because it's vvery important  
CA: I'm playin right no~ in fact.  
CC: with()ut me? 8O  
CC: nixxie i am hurt and insulted  
CA: Don't ~orry ~e'll havve plenty of time to play together  
CA: I'll evven fill you in as ~e all go along.  
CC: but i d()nt c()me in until wave later 8(  
CA: I kno~  
CA: But that's okay that just makes it easier for you  
CA: You havve a bunch of people ~ho already kno~ ~hat they're doin ahead of you  
CA: And you'll be able to get more information as ~ell  
CA: And I don't think TC's a~ake yet is she?  
CC: *shrug*  
CC: maybay  
CC: ill ask cg about it  
CA: You t~o can be clueless together  
CA: I gotta go okay  
CA: Go ask Braile for the do~nlo~.  
CC: ()kay ill d() that  
CC: sea you nixxie!  
CA: Sea you!  
CC: hee hee  
\-- calypsosAqueduct [CA] ceased trolling cachalotCacophony [CC] \--

That was a pleasant surprise. You catch yourself wondering how long you've been doing this for. It can't be more than a few hours, can it? You think Braile said it was just over an hour when you last talked to him, so two hours is probably the longest time it could be.  


Feeling satisfied with your own deductions, you walk back to the door of your room, ready if slightly begrudging to get back to killing imps and ogres and stuff. You turn the handle and push it outward, but it doesn't move more than an inch. Your body fails to register this for a few moments, and you keep walking until you slam face first into the cruxtruder.  


God fucking damn it Braile.


	11. Act 1: Chapter 11

In a surprise cliffhanger that comes as a complete unsurprise to everyone reading, the narrative focuses on a new character. Absolutely no one is stunned by this shocking turn of events. Anyway, let's give this little lady a name.  


>Enter name  


Your name is IRASCI VANTAS and you love MUSICAL THEATER. You like all kinds of theater but there's just something about musicals and operas that just speaks to you. You also like reading GORY BLOODY VIOLENT BOOKS and watching SHITTY ROMCOMS and practicing with your scythe. You don't want to become a THRESHICUTIONER because while you like reading about bloody and terrible things, doing those bloody and terrible things might be a little too much for you, so you just practice how to defend yourself and do fancy intricate moves with your scythe.  


You think you look cool but you actually look like a big doofus.  


Your trolltag is cachaemicGonoph and you speak !n an exc!table and l!vely manner that never fa!ls to garner attent!on. What will you do now?  


>Examine bookshelf  


You examine your bookshelf. It is a very nice bookshelf. Very shelfy and full of books. Most of which are your afore mentioned gory horror and thriller novels, but there are some romance books there. Also a few fantasy books you've been meaning to read. You might read them while waiting for everyone to get their shit together so you can play this game with your friends and moirail. Speaking of friends, one is messaging you now.  
\--guillotineChemist [GC] began trolling cachaemicGonoph [CG] \--  
GC: Hell-o.  
GC: I'm assuming y-ou already have the game?  
CG: h! and yes ! do!  
CG: your assumt!ons are correct as always, bra!n!ac  
CG: so whats the etp?  
CG: (psst that means est!mated t!me of play!ng hehe)  
GC: A few h-ours, pr-obably.  
CG: oh hold on gam!lls talk!ng to me too now  
GC: -Oh really?  
GC: Sh-ould I be jeal-ous?  
CG: oh come on!  
CG: as smart and log!cal as you are you should already have that f!gured out by now!  
GC: Irasci, I am hurt and betrayed.  
GC: H-ow c-ould y-ou, I th-ought we were friends.  
GC: Stealing my -own matesprit fr-om me. H-ow l-ong has this been g-oing -on?  
CG: >o  
GC: Hehehehehe.  
CG: oh tcs on!  
CG: sorry !m go!ng to have to cut our conversat!on short!  
CG: have fun play!ng your game and dont g!ve me spo!lers!  
GC: -Okay, see y-ou.  
\-- CachaemicGonoph [CG] ceased trolling guillotineChemist [GC] \--  


You exit out of two chat windows and devote your full attention to your moirail.  
\-- tenaciousCakemaker [TC] began trolling cachaemicGonoph [CG] \--  
TC: Hey Whats Going On  
TC: Whys Everyone Talking About A Game  
TC: No Good Evening Or Anything  
CG: because we are play!ng a game!  
CG: remember?  
CG: bra!le and gam!ll have had !t organ!zed for weeks!  
CG: also good even!ng  
TC: Oh Yeah  
TC: Bluh I Just Woke Up  
CG: ! see that  
TC: So What's Happening  
CG: uhh !m not sure  
CG: ! know that n!xx!es play!ng now and ! think poss!bly deogen  
CG: because thats the order bra!le listed us  
TC: Okay  
TC: Ugh I Shouldnt Have Gotten Up  
TC: It's Too Late To Go Back To Sleep  
TC: I Already Showered  
TC: And Got Dressed  
TC: This Is Dumb  
CG: what !s?  
TC: Everything  
CG: awww !s someone a b!g grumpy face today?  
TC: When Am I Not A Big Grumpy Face  
CG: never  
CG: and thats what makes you so adorable c:B  
TC: I'm Not Adorable  
TC: I'm Big And Tough And Strong And Awesome  
CG: and adorable  
TC: No You're Adorable  
TC: That's Your Job  
TC: My Job Is To Be Big And Tough And Intimidating  
CG: and make del!c!ous cakes  
TC: That Too  
CG: so are you go!ng back to sleep?  
TC: Nah  
TC: I Don't Really Feel Like It  
TC: Why Were You Planning To Do Something  
CG: nah  
CG: wanna play one of those dumb cake decorat!ng games?  
TC: Fuck Yes

  
You both spend three hours playing dumb cake decorating games together. Considering there's nothing else of interest here to be explored by the narration, this would be the perfect time to check back on Nixxie and see how she's doing.


	12. Act 1: Chapter 12

>Check back on Nixxie

You swear at the door and give it a kick and then swear again. You did not expect that to hurt so much. You ignore the pain in your foot and slink over to your window, which you open and shimmy through feet first. You take a deep breath and jump down. Your knees bend and your teeth grit from the impact, but no harm is done. You’d have to fall from a much taller height to be injured at all.  
You hug the edge of your hive as you walk to your door. There’s a fair amount of ground between your hive and the dizzying, never ending black void of space, but being cautious never hurt anybody. You hop up the steps to your hive and open the door to go in, but freeze as soon as you see what’s happening inside.  
There are imps going fucking haywire fucking everywhere; in your living room, in your kitchen, in your den, as far as the eye can see. They’re ripping your furniture and banging on pots and pans and smashing glass and ceramic and generally just being destructive assholes.  
You will not stand for this bullshit.  
You grab the nearest imp and throw it across the room with all your might, where it smashes into another imp and kills them both. Most of the imps in the near vicinity stop and look at you with mournful eyes as they process the level of ass kicking they’re about to receive.  
Out of courtesy to others who may not wish to view such a heinous but awesome ass kicking, the narrative will now change views to something much, much cuter. Something like a cat, or a young boy, or a young cat boy such as this one here.

>Enter name  
Your name is AUBADE LEIJON and boy howdy do you love NATURE. You like GARDENING, HIKING, STARGAZING, and most especially, HUNTING. Not because you like hurting things or being covered in blood, but because it makes you feel self-sufficient. You’ve long out-grown the days where your lusus had to hunt for you. Even if she doesn’t quite get the idea of independency yet. Not that you really mind, of course. Who complains about effortlessly obtained food? And there’s a calming sense of security that follows the initial burst of fear when you find the corpse of a slain beast beside your coon in the evening.  
You also speak in a  furry catsual way that is punctuated by an over abundance of cat puns.  
>Talk to your friend  
You would be very happy to talk to your friend! Any of them will do, but you go with one of your very close ones.

\-- aslansCatastrophe [AC] began trolling teslasAdjutor [TA] \--  
AC: *katt creeps up on his furiend wasp, hoping to surprise her with a tackle hug*  
TA: cut that 2h1t 0ut  
TA: 1 d0nt want 2 play y0ur stup1d r0leplay1ng game  
AC: alright, grumpy :pp  
AC: so whats up?  
AC: and dont say the sky this time  
TA: the cl0ud2  
AC: *sigh*  
TA: what? 1 d1dnt 2ay 2ky  
AC: clouds are basicatlly the same thing  
AC: so did you get your game?  
TA: ugh 1 cant bel1eve y0u st1ll want 2 play even after 1 t0ld y0u 1t wa2 a bad idea  
TA: n0t even a bad idea  
TA: 1t 12 20 bey0nd that n0w  
TA: 1t2 the w0r2t idea 1n the w0rld  
AC: dont be meowlodramatic. i can take care of myself! you and me have both been in dangerous situations before, and we’ve always dealt with them just fine  
TA: th12 12 d1fferent  
AC: how so?  
TA: 1 d0nt kn0w  
TA: but believe me th12 game 12 bad new2  
AC: well its too late to turn back now!  
TA: 1 kn0w  
\-- teslasAdjutor [TA] ceased trolling aslansCatastrophe [AC] \--

 

\-- arsonistsArsenic [AA] began trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA]\--  
AA: alright i dont knoW hoW this fucking clock works and My other clock keeps counting doWn and iM still not in the Medium and i May or May not be slightly Worried  
AA: please respond  
CA: Oh, so no~ you ~ant help?  
AA: no  
AA: just ansWers  
CA: Sounds like you ~ant help.  
AA: please i dont haVe tiMe for this  
CA: Just thro~ something in the glo~ing circle thing and you should be fine  
CA: That’s ~hat I did.  
AA: i did do that  
AA: it didn’t do anything  
AA: What else did you do?  
CA: There ~as a big purple fish that I hacked apart  
CA: It disappeared though  
CA: ~hich sucks cause no~ I’m gettin hungry.  
AA: i haVe a clock not a fish  
AA: What the fuck do i do With a clock  
AA: the hands dont eVen moVe this is the worst clock eVer  
CA: Thro~ it at the ~all.  
AA: Why the fuck Would i do that  
CA: That’s ~hat I do ~hen my alarm ~akes me up  
CA: Or I ~ould if I still had an alarm.  
AA: yeah  
AA: i think i’M just going to  
AA: ask literally anyone else  
\-- arsonistsArsenic [AA] ceased trolling calypsosAqueduct [CA] \--

Whatever. He’s stupid anyway. Your advice is amazing and if he can’t see that, he deserves whatever happens to him when that clock hits zero.  
You figure it best to eat something before you get any more grumpy or petty.


End file.
